I don't know why I don't tell you these things when I talk to you. I take things for granted too easily with you, but you never seem to mind. I know I've never been the conservative or the traditional kind of daughter to you. When I look around I see mothers & daughters going on about their lives together, for a minute I forget what you have instilled in me, I look at them in envy. not in malicious way, but it's a kind of a yearning for what I don't have. I left you to raise a family of my own and built my own priorities. No matter how far you may be, I can feel you around me on good days and bad. It guilt's me so much for not being there with you and for you. But you never say a word or hold grudges.
Growing up I wondered why you always were so willing to settle for the second best in life, putting everyone else in front of you. I never said anything, even when I was old enough to understand. I took the easy way out, thought you wouldn't mind either way. Today I cringe at the thought because it would break my heart if mine ever didn't. Did it ever cross your mind? I couldn't tell because you never give anything away.
To this day, you are the ONLY person I know who loves me unconditionally. You believe in me even when I don't. You think the world of me and always proud to acknowledge me as a part of you. Your compassion is unparalleled. It amazes me how you do that without even skipping a heartbeat. I'm miles behind learning from you, and I try everyday because you never gave up.
Your love and resilience has carried me through this far. I owe it all to you. As much as I would love to say this in person, I would have to settle for a crappy roaming phone connection tommorow. I love you & miss you and hope you take some time off to enjoy the day. Happy Birthday Amma!
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