one quick look down my friends list on fb, you'd think i'm the queen in the center of it all. sky high wall msgs,tagged photos & boxes full of crap. but nothing could be further from the truth. apart from an overly obsessed guy friend who took it upon him to cyber-stalk me, sure, i was all smiles when i first got caught up in the whole fb thing . but now..well not so much....may be im just getting older or..even wiser.
i lost touch with many of my friends over the years & was thrilled to be caught up all over again. but somehow the valued friendships i once shared, have evolved tremendously. some even beyond repair. my friend L ,who was very close to me in school, has changed into a total snob, literally. sometimes i just have to bite my tongue just to keep it together. then there's some other friends who are just borderline bitchy & arrogant. (im being polite here to cut them slack)
not to forget the guy, an old friend, who turned into a cyber/cell/skype-stalker. his motives are still beyond my comprehension. to be honest, i never saw it coming. im still kicking myself for letting him see my contact info.
..and then there's one way friends who never initiate communication unless you do first. they might respond with a one liner email but never bother to check in first. a classic case of one way friendship -friends who may care on some subtle level to stay in touch with you but just not willing go that extra mile & show some genuine care.
some friends at certain times might have less energy to offer to a friendship. i get that. aren't we all busy, stressed out & committed to the life style built around us..? sure. but most one way friendships are clearly more specific & screams the fact they are just not into you. well..at least mine are. so it turns out im not the queen after all. :) is it really worth my time & energy to hold on to these unbalanced & outgrown friendships? maybe things are too litttle too late to be salvaged. my gut tells me i should just pull the plug and just be done with it. after all, haven't i gotten this far without them anyway?
i'd rather remember (treasure) how much it meant to be their friend way back than just be nasty about it now. i don't even see the point of having them on my friends list anymore. (what are the ethics of removing friends gracefully, i wonder ?) so the lesson i learnt here ..why chase old friends & trying to renew old friendships only to realize they are not the same who you were once friends with..?? wouldn't you rather carry the memories in your heart and move on..?
i think im at a point in my life where i am realizing who my real friends are. i may not have many but i feel blessed i still have a few of them around. so im letting go of enormous friends lists (oh yeah and that creepy guy too!) & other crap that comes with it.. i won't give in for false pretenses anymore.
btw, i found this on my slide funspace the other day..coincidence in timing just blew me away..
There comes a point in life
When you realize
Who matters
Who never did
Who won't anymore
and who always will..
so don't worry about the people from your past
there's a reason why they never made it your future..
the last line is on me..
"just be glad you got to know them when they were your friend ..and just move on.."
