the mother in me..

they've grown up so much. in such a little time. so much so i can't remember how quickly time has flown by like a minute. so many memories flood my mind. as any other mom, i worry. i worry if i've had done enough, i worry if i'm doing enough and i worry if i'd ever do enough. you know the motherly responsibilities. with so many aspirations to stand up to, it's a daunting task to say the least. will i ever be good enough and fill up the mold ? i have no idea. all i can do is to keep on loving them every way possible & more.

i hope you dance..

and..this is for them.. it brings tears to my eyes every time..

perceptions

the perceptions i stood by have always changed from time to time. may be its something that happens inevitably as you grow older.or may be they are just resulting in from the multitude of changes taken place in my life over the years. not all of these changes were asked for.just a handful of them. to be more specific, most have brought me tears and caused pain. but i seem to have ignored the few grateful ones which have brought me nothing but blissful joy. because i can be such a big time worrier (is that a word? )sometimes i forget to appreciate and celebrate these little joys in my life. as i'm writing this, it sounds so simple. but how did i miss that?

my kids & i were watching reba, and this song came on.just couldn't stop listening...

want Vs need

We are so inundated by all the materialistic things out there luring us to cave in , sometimes we miss the big picture. I happen live in a country where materialistic market place is so deluged more so than any other country, and we get judged constantly by the stuff we own, as a result.

I think young kids in general take a harder hit & the most vulnerable. Mine are no different. I'm sure having a mom who doesn't go by the cool formula where stuff = love = happiness, makes it even harder for them! Sure, I'd buy them stuff as they need, not necessarily want. You give in to their temporary rush of happiness only to witness the novelty wears off pretty quickly and to do it all over again? Isn't that how we ended up with a generation that is spoiled, bored & materialistic in the first place ???

top of the list..

..only a handful of things have shown the potential to bring happiness in my life. my kids would definitely steal the top spot on that brief list. well..they are great kids. may be thats such a cliche every parent throws in, but seriously i marvel at how well they have turn out in spite of my emotional downpour along the way. knock on wood. you know every time i look at them, they give me this incredible feeling, i have at least got a few things right in my life. no doubt other parents out there can relate to me. i try to raise them smart & well rounded/grounded.
i may not possess the typical mom cutout personality. i try to be brutally honest with my kids as much as i can push it, even if it diminishes their hopes of getting a gift from tooth fairy or running into santa claus some day. or even depriving them from getting something (these days its hsm & webkinz stuff) just because all cool kids in school have it. no nonsense, no fairy fibbing. they dont fly with me. but they get more than their fair share of toys & whatnot's just like every other kid here in the neighborhood just minus the fibbing & nonsense. so far they have responded reasonably well in my favor ..who knows maybe i just got lucky.