one complicated cordless phone

i desperately want to ship home a cordless phone. sounds simple right..?

my father's recovering from his second stroke and things dont look all that well. he gets his share of good & bad days. today he kept telling me over the phone, that he was thinking about me. he told me this over & over. he easily forgets things now so he doesnt know he's repeating. it broke my heart but i played along. afterwards, i begged my mother to be patient with him because i know how it can drive you nuts & then some. i have a four yr old myself!

i only wanted to buy a cordless phone just to make his life a little easier. that way he doesnt have to get off the bed to answer the phone. i delayed mailing it for a few days , my husband's friend is taking it to sri lanka when he goes on vacation this week. i was happy that would take less days to reach home. our friend is suppose to drop it off at my in laws house, which is much closer to his. my always generous f-i-l promised me he would take care of the rest. i was on cloud nine, until now..

my husband has second thoughts and thinks we cant just send off a package to his house without sending a "gift" for his family too. why? he fears his parents would be offended! now that brings up a whole set of can of worms, but i do not want to go there.

so now i am running off to USPS to mail it off, which is how i wanted it done in the first place..!!!!

why do things always have to be politically correct?

feeling mundane..

...things have been bottling up inside me since i was about 10 years old, i'd explode if i don't do anything about it. i guess i never learnt how to deal with my problems head on. i would just shove them in somewhere behind my walls. kind of like..well..if i dont think about it, it does not exist. but now, so many years later, it's taking a huge toll on just about everything in my life .

well..it all started out when news about my father's infidelity unravelled in our family. although i may have been about 7 or 8 yrs old, i remember the pain & the tears very well. i remember a lot of hushed out conversations between my mother & her family & friends. the alleged woman was an unmarried neighbor from right across the street, literally. as kids, we were fond of her and called her aunty. i knew things were bad when i saw my parents fighting over this and my mother crying most of the time. but my father came back home every night as if nothing had happened, being just a kid then, that was good enough for me. sometimes my young mind would wander trying to find answers that make sense, but it always left me sad.

my escape from all this was, school. i love my school days. i knew i can be a different person in school. none of my friends knew anything. i dared to tell even my closest friend, who im still friends with. if someone found out, i would just die of shame.

looking back i realize, i never really talked about it with anyone. i have an older sister but she & i never really got along. being just 11 months apart, we were constantly fighting over random things. but there were plenty of good times between us too, but somehow we never really overcame our common pain. we were brought up in a typical conservative environment as you would find in just about any city in sri lanka. discussing personal family matters were considered a taboo. so we pretty much kept things to ourselves. back then we didnt know any different.

im sure things have changed now, i see my nieces & nephews are more outspoken & demanding.

..to be continued..